| Tired of getting so far in a relationship, only
to have it disintegrate right in front of you? Wonder if maybe you are
doing something to make it disintegrate? Well, here's a clue, women. If
the same thing is happening over and over again, chances are it is not
the men you're meeting. My Bitch Boot Camp series (based on the book Why Men Love Bitches)
is going to turn you into the type of woman who can land a man and keep
him, guaranteed or your money back. Wait...you are paying for this,
aren't you? The first step in our Bitch Boot Camp is to find your own
self-esteem. It's in there somewhere, girls, you know it is. You are a
valuable woman who actually deserves a man that recognizes that. You
should never, ever have to chase a man. Ever. You are not
desperate. You don't have to cook for a man to impress him or dress the
way he tells you to dress. You dress the way you want to dress and if
it's not good enough for him, go find someone for whom it is good
enough. Or go home, cook for yourself, and wear what you want to wear
for you.
When you first meet someone, you show just how far you're
willing to bend to make him or her happy. They test you, you test them,
and if you do whatever it takes, they learn they can walk all over you.
You train people how to treat you. Don't train them that it's okay to
treat you badly. If he's not willing to go out of his way for you, too
bad for him. For the purposes of this series, a "bitch":
- Maintains her independence
- Doesn't pursue
- Is mysterious
- Leaves him wanting
- Never lets him see her sweat
- Remains in control of her time
- Maintains a sense of humor
- Places a high value on herself
- Is passionate about something other than men
- Treats her body like a finely tuned machine (Okay, that one's a little strange, but that's what the book says...)
Anything a person chases in life runs away. Don't pull out the black
nightie to impress him right off the bat. Already you'll have dealt him
your best card, which will show him you don't place a very high value
on yourself. If you give him the prize up front, what does he have to
work for? And I'm not just talking about sex, either. (Although that's
a big one.) I'm talking about cooking for him, going out of your way to
dress the way he wants, talk the way he likes... Give the impression
that you don't give a damn what he likes. This is you and if he doesn't
like it, he knows how to vanish on you just like he would if you did everything he liked.
The women who have men chasing them are the ones who act like they
don't care. The key is to show him that you can live with or without
him. The last thing you want to show is desperation. That's not pretty
at all. As the book says, "Overcompensating or being too eager to
please will lessen a man's respect; it will give the kiss of death to
his attraction, and it will put a time limit on the relationship." Men
want to be challenged, whether you think they do or not. Whether they think they do or not.
I know what you're thinking. You've met a great guy and he's crazy
about you. He's way into you. Yeah, I've met that guy too. We all have.
This one is different from all the others. He's attentive, he's sweet,
and he's jumping through all kinds of hoops for you. There's nothing
you can do to mess it up. So you start giving back what you're
receiving. You find out everything he likes and, like a checklist, mold
your life into it. You are always available when he calls because, for
heaven's sake, you don't want him to stop calling. He's always been
considerate to you, so why shouldn't you show that back?
And then one day he doesn't call. What's your first instinct? To get
worried and nervous. But, here's a clue: sometimes men don't call to
see how you'll respond. When men are unsure about where they stand,
they don't come out and ask as women do. They pull back to see how
you'll react and, guess what? When you react emotionally, it lets him
know he's in control. If this continues over time, he'll come to see
you as less of a challenge. The key to being a challenge is to show him
absolutely no attitude about it if a little more time than usual goes
by without hearing from him. Don't mention it at all. Time flies when
you're having fun, right? Wow, you didn't even notice it had been that
long.
Everything I've listed above should be done naturally. You shouldn't
have to play games. If you find yourself constantly compromising
everything you are in relationships, you need to take serious
time to figure out who you are first. The book says never let a man
know he has a hundred percent hold on you -- I say never let a man have
a hundred percent hold on you. Period. Recognize the prize you are and
refuse to settle. Because we all are truly better off alone than in a
relationship with a man who takes advantage of us. |
